Biblical Teachings on Divorce: Implication for Marriage Counselling

Biblical Teachings on Divorce: Implication for Marriage Counselling

Joseph Lalrinawma

 

Introduction:

It is universally accepted that divorce is unwelcome at any time because it is never a good thing as it causes breakage of family threatening the family, church and social order. Marriage is supposed to be firm at least during life time but divorce is increasing day by day in our contemporary world. It is an undeniable fact that behind divorce; some reasons are legally and reasonably right. Even though the world has realized the sour of divorce and has been taking various measures, Christian ethical actions will always be the most desirable solution to minimize and solve this problem.

Meaning of Divorce:

Divorce can be defined as the legal or customary declaration of marriage dissolution. The term is derived from the Latin divortium meaning ‘to separate’. It is different from Annulment, in which it is declared by some authoritative body that the marriage attempted by a couple was invalid.[1] The way divorce carried out can be varying in different communities; sometimes legal measures are not needed in order to get divorce and also are directly settled between the two partners.

The Causes of Divorce:

1. Religious differences are causes of divorce. Studies shows that divorce rates are more in mixed marriages. There is also a very big chance of divorce among the couples who, either one or both involved in consumption of liquor and substance abuse.

2. Woman movement is a big factor for increasing divorce rate. The women’s movement has produced a more accepting attitude towards the presence of women in realms that were traditionally seen as belonging to the male domain. Women are more independent economically than they were in the past and less likely to remain in some abusive situation or in some marriages in which their needs are not being met.[2]

3. Divorce is very common among people who got married at very young age; they do not really know the meaning of relationship and they have very less experience of human life its struggles in existence and survival in the midst of everyday challenge. Either they do not know each other properly their characters, desires, weakness and strength etc. before marriage. When they live together longer, their real nature comes out and they do not have patience and tolerance.

4. Mizo traditional thinking which comparatively devalued women as replaceable like a rotten wooden or bamboo fences. This shows the oppression of women in Mizo society and gives less important in a family.

Problems of Divorce:

1. When a couple get divorce, their dignity and value to others is declining and it makes them feel inferior to others. Even between them there is tension and argument regarding distribution of their wealth leading to the need of legal judgment. “The pain is associated with the loss of innocence and the dashing of dreams that comes with divorce.”[3]

2.  Our civilized society needs Stable family who are trustworthy to be a citizen. But divorced families are liable to be blame and sometime according to the condition, are rejected by the society as divorce is never a merely private matter between two individuals, but brings about a social disruption in family, neighborhood, career, and the like. And each divorce constitutes a negative model for those who observe the marital breakup.[4] Wolfgang Schauble says that if the institution of marriage and family are made uncertain, society becomes poorer and loses something of its human face. There will be more isolation and also be greater disintegration of solidarity.[5]

3. The orphan children are the innocent victims of parental divorce.  They have nothing to do with it, but they become very vulnerable towards their future and are in a threat of stunted growth in moral maturity. Generally, those who shoot out of divorce parent lack confidence, self esteem, manners etc. Divorce likewise carries a negative impact on the children of the broken marriage. In fact, recent studies indicate that the burden children bear may even outweigh that of the divorcing spouses. Craig A. Everett reaches this chilling conclusion:

There is little question that the children in divorcing families carry the greatest vulnerability… which may linger well into adulthood. Disillusionment, anger, and fear may shape their own adult mate selection processes as well as the parenting and interactional patterns of the next generation.[6]

4. According to the Christian belief, God created marriage with a covenantal relationship and those who break marriage vow deny God’s law because this reflects the creation of the first marriage in the Garden of Eden to be permanent.

Biblical and Theological Perspective:

The biblical teaching on divorce is much debated for two reasons. First, while the relevant texts are not numerous, they provoke exegetical issues which are complex and difficult. Second, since the church and synagogue look to scripture for moral guidance and since divorce continues to be a pressing moral problem, the pastoral issues these texts envisage are important and urgent.[7] The key biblical text to be correlated are those that deal directly with the issue of divorce could be the Mosaic regulation (Deut.24:1-4), the prophetic protest (Mal. 2:13-16), the teaching of Jesus (Matt. 5:32; 19:9; Mk.10:11-12; Lk. 16:18), and the teaching of Paul (I Cor. 7:1-16)[8]

Old Testament Views:

In Hebrew society divorce seems to be easier and liberal because of the tradition of the dominant patriarchal society. Regarding the Law of Moses; a husband, under certain circumstances, might divorce his wife (Deut. 24:1-4). The rabbinical school of Shammai holds it for sexual unfaithfulness exclusively but the school of Hillel, on the other hand, understand these words to signify anything unappealing; these teachers allowed the husband to send his wife even for such a trifle as a burned meal.”[9]

Regarding divorce right, Rabbinical interpretation extended this right to wife as well under certain circumstances, such as when the husband had contracted leprosy[10] or she could force him to divorce her.[11] But still this is affirmed in Hebrew society that a wife is, in most homes of Israel, the husband’s “most valued possession.” And yet the husband was unconditionally and unreservedly the head of the family in all domestic relations. His rights and prerogatives were manifest on every rite. No where is this more evident than in the matter of divorce.[12]

Opposition to divorce seems to have made clear and more intense in the prophetic word of Malachi after the exile (Mal. 2: 13-16). Malachi protests against two specific instances of covenant infidelity; entering into marriage with unconverted pagan wives (the daughter of a foreign god) and divorce (the wife of your youth). These may be coordinated event, but are treated in the text as separate instances of treason.[13]

Hebrew marriage is more of a legal contract whether or not there is love and affection between the couple However, according to Davies, the Mosaic Law which appears to advocate the rite of divorce (Deut. 24:1-4) seems to be to favor the wife, and to protect an unceremonious expulsion from her home and children.[14]

New Testament Views:

Jesus clearly recognized that issuing ‘certificate of divorce’ has been drafted in the law due to the Israel’s hardness of heart. Therefore, even though it seems that He acknowledge divorce to exceptional condition, He asserted that divorce could not be encouraged (Mk. 10:3-9) on the ground that divorce and remarrying have same negative effects to adultery regardless of blaming it (Mt. 19:8-9). Jesus’ teaching on divorce is given in response to a test question posed by the Pharisees. The purpose is to guard His disciples against divorce, to preserve marriage rather than prevent remarriage.[15]

At 2 Cor. 7, Paul nevertheless accepts the validity and indissolubility of marriage. Neither husband nor wife may divorce (vv. 10-11), even if wives were allowed to do so under Roman law. Concerning having unbeliever as a partner, he still does not support divorce. Even if their partner is unbeliever, he was writing to the believing partner the privilege of a divorce if the unbelieving partner was no longer satisfied with the marriage.[16] This makes very clear that Jesus disapproves divorce and Mosaic permission become a dead letter and it should not be practiced among His disciples (Matt. 19: 9).

Church’s Response:

The strongest action taken by the church, especially BCM, among the divorces is to discipline them for some periods, during which they are abstain from all the important activities of the church, for instance, the Holy Communion, election, etc. and set them free after the disciplinary period. Practically, this is not much effective in eradicating or bringing down the rate of divorce in their church. The church even emphasizes holy matrimony saying that divorce rate is less and venerated it. The church took responsibility on marriage, but has no or not tries to takes responsibility on divorce matter. It seems that the church was sometimes kicked out of its subject by the members. Therefore it is clear that the responses which the church has taken so far are not effective.

Pastoral Response:

The church may offer pre-marital counseling classes dealing with marital problems and the credit of strong marriage life, the need to experience holy matrimony would make for more successful marriage and the reduction of divorce rate. The church must stop pretending that the breach of marriage is a good thing depending on the circumstances. Christ forbids it and it is always wrong and sinful.[17] Sometimes the church seems to be unconscious of legal measures of the state and pull far apart from the state activities. In this case the church has to be aware of illegal marriage among the younger church members, they took disciplinary action and freed them, it is not enough because marriage among immature persons’ divorce chance is very high. According to Civil Law (Indian Child Marriage Restrain Act, amended in 1978 and the Special Marriage act, 1954), marriage below 21 years for male, 18 years for female make marriage void or voidable in Civil Law.[18] If the church takes importance of this she will take reliable steps to encourage her members to be more patient and to be a loyal citizen of a state.

There is an appraisal of the church’s conducting holy matrimony in Mizoram. If at all  the churches have authority upon the marriage of their members and take serious measures, yet celebrated, why not having authority over divorce? Its goal is not that of determining when divorce can be sanctioned, nor which marital partner is right and which is in the wrong. Rather, it elevates to central concern the question as to how relationships and individuals can be redeemed, how can be restored to wholeness and peace.[19] Focusing attention on this ministry becomes a crucial task of the churches if it is to meet the challenge of the divorce explosion in our church and society.

If the churches have authority upon Divorce of its members, there could be certain chances where marriage could be saved by the Church. Some cases of divorce may be solved by provision of proper pastoral care and counseling. The churches also have to take care of the welfare of the members due to which the involvement in the case of divorce could be vital in many ways.

Conclusion:

Divorce is neither well-justified by the Bible nor by Christ. The churches also have to see to this and take necessary actions for the regard. Of this suggestion, it is suggestive that the Church involved more in the family matters of its members and be consulted in case of making and dismantling process of families. By this, proper execution of pastoral care on the right time is highly needed and the church could be most reliable to see the right timing and to know what care in needed by the individual/s.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Davies, W. W. “Divorce in OT.” The International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia.

Edited by James Orr. Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1960.

Davis, John Jefferson. Evangelical Ethics Facing the Church Today. Phillipsburg: P

& R Publishers, 1993.

Grenz, Stanley. Sexual Ethics. A Biblical Perspective. Cumbria: Paternoster Press,

1997.

Jones, David Clyde. Biblical Christian Ethics. Michigan: Baker Books, 1998.

Myers, Allen C. Ed. The Eerdmans Biblical Dictionary. Grand rapids: William B.

Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1987.

Peschke, Karl H. Christian Ethics Moral Theology in the Light of Vatican II, vol. II. 

Bangalore: Theological Publications in India, 1994.

Pinto, William E. Law of Marriage and Matrimonial Reliefs for Christians in India.

Bangalore: Theological Publications in India, 2000.

Powers, B. Ward. Marriage and Divorce: The New Testament Teaching. London:

Jordan Books Ltd., 1987.

Wall, Robert W. “Divorce.” The Anchor Bible Dictionary, Vol. 2. D-G. Edited by

David Noel Freedman, at al. New York: Double day, 1992.

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[1] John Jefferson Davis, Evangelical Ethics Facing the Church Today (Phillipsburg: P & R Publishers, 1993), 81-82.

[2] Stanley Grenz, Sexual Ethics. A Biblical Perspective (Cumbria: Paternoster Press, 1997), 121.

[3] Stanley Grenz, Sexual Ethics. A Biblical Perspective …, 121.

[4] Stanley Grenz, Sexual Ethics. A Biblical Perspective…, 122-123.

[5] Karl H. Peschke, Christian Ethics Moral Theology in the Light of Vatican II, vol. II. (Bangalore: Theological Publications in India, 1994),  483.

[6] Grenz, Sexual Ethics. A Biblical Perspective…, 122.

[7] Robert W. Wall, “Divorce,” The Anchor Bible Dictionary, Vol. 2. D-G, David Noel Freedman, at al. (New York: Double day, 1992), 217.

[8] David Clyde Jones, Biblical Christian Ethics (Michigan: Baker Books, 1998), 188.

[9] Wall, “Divorce,” The Anchor Bible Dictionary…, 288.

[10] Allen C. Myers, ed., The Eerdmans Biblical Dictionary (Grand rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1987), 288.

                [11] W. W. Davies, “Divorce in OT,” The International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia, gen ed. James Orr, Vol. II, Clement-Heresh (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1960), 863.

[12] Ibid, 863.

[13] Jones, Biblical Christian Ethics …, 190.

[14] Davies, “Divorce in OT,” The International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia…, 863.

[15] Jones, Biblical Christian Ethics… 192-193.

[16] Myers, ed., The Eerdmans Biblical Dictionary…, 289.

[17] B.Ward Powers, Marriage and Divorce: The New Testament Teaching (London: Jordan Books Ltd., 1987), 221.

                [18] William E. Pinto, Law of Marriage and Matrimonial Reliefs for Christians in India (Bangalore: Theological Publications in India, 2000), 9.

[19] Grenz, Sexual Ethics. A Biblical Perspective…, 142.